ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
