i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
