i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
