Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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