They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
