what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
