nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize