I want to make a zoo with you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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