My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
