I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize