I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
