we're chasing vodka with high fives
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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