let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
