I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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