why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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