You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
