oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
why is half of my head shaved?
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