Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
