This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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