Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
