He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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