just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
