whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
