I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
