Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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