I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
