i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
