A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
