Buhtt sex?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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