I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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