turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
