you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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