U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
