We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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