This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
