so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
