That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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