I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
