Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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