It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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