what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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