It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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