it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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