I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize