Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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