ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The air was thick with penises
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
