He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
