theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you win again, gameday.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
