i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
