i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im holly from the hills drunk
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
