dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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