I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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