So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
