i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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