You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
