I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
