can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize