great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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