we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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