Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
