my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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