I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
As shirtless as possible
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
